Sincerely, me
by sotornup
Summary: Sean, I need you now. Now more then ever. I have something I want to tell you. Sincerely, me. Sellie
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't know If I want to make this a one chapter thing or many chapters. Oh well I will decide that later. This is kinda Ellie's sucide not in a sense. I got the idea from a RPG I did. So the first part is from a RPG and then the last is my writting. Well, I wrote it all but I wrote the first part over AIM. I hope you like it R&R

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Sean,

It's been over a year since you've left. I miss you. I can't do it any longer. I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend that everythings ok. I can't pretend at all anymore.

It's just, what did i do wrong? Why did u leave? I mean I would do whatever you wanted I would have came with you in a heartbeat if you asked. It's really hard sean. After you left just everything went wrong and it was really hard. It still is.

It's just like this endless ride that never stops and it just keeps going i can't stop it, Sean, it won't stop! There is only one escape.

If I did it, who would really care? I mean if I died would anyone really notice I was even gone? For a long time I pretended to be okay and put on a smile for everyone else's sake. So that they wouldn't have to waste their time pretending to worry about me. But I can't do it anymore. I don't think you would care. Cause if you really cared you wouldn't have left. You would have stayed with me knowing I needed you.

Sean, I want to tell you. I need to tell you. I was prengnant when you left. I found out three days after you left. I didn't tell you or anyone. But I was going to tell you later. Because I knew you didn't want to hear from me then. Then I started again. I cut. It was like I couldn't control it. It wasn't me. When the baby was about two months old there was an accident. I cut to deep and the blood wouldn't stop. I lost so much blood that day, I lost the baby. The doctors all say it wasn't my fault but it was Sean. I killed our baby and I can't live with that anymore!

Everything is starting to boil over. My mom is drinking again. My dad is gone for another six months and I can't take the pain anymore. I going to do it Sean. I need to do it. I just thought that you should know that I still love you, more then you ever would know. I loved our unborn baby too. It's all my fault. Everything is my fault. I love you.

By the time you get this letter I will aready be gone. I aready traced the lines on my arm so I know where to cut. I will be gone Sean, but I just wanted you to know that I love you. I love you so so much. I'll miss you Sean.

Love forever,

Ellie 3


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Next chapter. I only got one review so I guess everybody hated it but I was bored so I decided to write another chapter. I guess the first one was kinda like a introduction type chapter. Anyway after this one I don't think i will write anymore unless i get a ton of reviews. I hope you like it!

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Ellie closed the letter and wrote on the front "**TO SEAN"** in big bold letters. Then started to drag a line down from her elbow to her wrist with her steak knife she stole from the kitchen. It was harder then she ever pushed before. More blood pored out of her arm then she had ever seen in her life as she opened up her vain with the knife. She went into her bed and waited for everything to go away. She waited for it all to be over.

Just before Ellie passed out she herd a knock but decided it was just her mom putting her drink on the table. She fell back in her bed and breathed which she would hope to be her last breath, the letter in her hand.

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Ashley stood outside the door to the Nash residents. She had just came back from England two days ago. So she decided to take her friend to a movie. Just to catch up. The first two days she was here Ellie seemed like her fine, happy self, but today when she talked to her over the phone she seemed much less happy. She was very distant answering with only "yes" and "no" answers. Although, in Ashley's mind, nothing a good movie couldn't solve.

As Ashley knocked on the door and no one answered she could sense something was wrong. Their car was in the driveway and many lights were on in the house. It was unlike Ellie to keep a light on when she was gone and her mom hated them saying that "fake light" gave her a headache.

As neither Ellie nor her mom were answering the door, Ashely decided to call Ellie's cell which she had on her at all times. She figured that sense Ellie knew that she was coming she would at least answer her phone. But after 3 rings Ashley resulted to calling the house phone. At least Mrs. Nash would answer and tell her were Ellie was. After four rings that idea was out too.

Worried for her friend, Ashley went around to the back to see if the glass door was uncovered. As Ash looked in she could see Ms. Nash passed out on the couch with three bottles of empty SKY at her side. She had know idea that Ms. Nash had been drinking.

She remembered back to when she had first heard about Ellie's cutting from Paige. The girl could hardly keep her mouth shut about it. She hadn't known why but she figured it had something to do with her dad leaving. So Ashley didn't confront her about it. She knew Ellie needed a good friend at that time and she didn't want to ruin her friendship with bringing it up. So she, unlike Paige, kept her mouth shut. Ashley now understood why she did it. That would be so hard to deal with that everyday.

In fear of what Ellie could be doing at that very second, which could explain why she didn't answer the door or her phone, Ashley reached for the door handle to check and see if it was open. Ms. Nash would probably not notice anyway if she came in and Ashley needed to see what was going on.

Sure enough the door opened when Ashley turned the knob. She walked up the steps to Ellie's room where the door was closed.

"Ellie." Ashley said quietly knocking on her friend's door. When their was no answer she opened the door to see Ellie on her bed. With her arm cut open and blood pouring out.

Ashley pulled out her cell phone while quickly dialing 911 when noticed the slightly blood stained letter in her friend's hand. As she looked at it she almost forgot she was on the phone until the person on the other line said "911 what is your emergency?" Ashley quickly spat out what was going on and an address. Then took a sheet off her bed and wrapped it around her arm to stop the bleeding as the person on the other side of the phone line instructed. Right before the men came in to take Ellie, Ashley quickly grabbed the letter and stuffed it in her pocket. Then went right back to sitting next to her dieing friend lying her head on Ellie's chest, her blood staining Ashley's clothes, as she was crying.


End file.
